[he showered! but he considered sunday to be a day he would sit and chill at home, thus he's wearing his usual sleep wear. rufus is already going about his business, sniffing down the path and taking the leash along with him to mark his territory on a nearby tree.]
[prompto's fished out his phone, waiting for any sign of minako. he already has a feeling what this is about; he did offer, after all.]
[Minako comes around the bend with Koromaru, the puppy sedate to match her mood, but his ears and tail still perking up at the sight of his friend Rufus. Minako kneels and murmurs to the puppy, giving him a good rub over his head before letting him run free, and then makes her way to Prompto's side at her own pace.]
I wouldn't have even realized these were your pajamas if you hadn't said anything.
Just imagine that I'm on a perpetual state of jogging in the mornings. I go through pajamas like crazy.
[he grins, allowing rufus more leash freedom while he goes over to greet koromaru. there's a fenced in dog park area where they can run like crazy, so prompto walks a bit closer to minako, before leading the way towards it.]
[Keeping pace with his long stride, she laughs softly under her breath, trailing off as he asks her how she is.]
Better than before. [She's not bawling her eyes out every half hour.] I just...woke up from my nap thinking I missed his laugh...thought that I shouldn't be alone, after that. And so I turn to you.
Y'know you can always turn to me when you need someone.
[...?? he's not good at this. he's never been in the position of the person who consoles friends over their losses, because friends is a relatively new concept, at least at this close a relationship]
[they reached the fenced area, and prompto opens up the waist-high gate, waiting for koromaru and minako to get in too, before closing it behind him.]
--you wanna talk about it?
[about ryoji, he means.]
[he unleashes rufus, takes a tennis ball from the pocket in his pants, and tosses it over beyond.]
Lately I've found myself thinking "Ryoji would want me to do this" and "Ryoji would think that". He'd want me to be happy, so I'm smiling as much as I can. He'd want me to be happy, so I'm trying to move on. But...how much of it is me actually trying for myself, and how much is it me clinging to his memory? I'm worried that I might be chasing his ghost at this rate.
[prompto has never had anyone in his life die. not anyone he's particularly close with, anyway. his father left him, his mother basically neglected him; he knows what chasing after the idea of someone is like. he's not sure it's the same.]
[the closest he's come to that feeling is when noctis was in a coma for months and months, when prompto first found him that winter night, on the floor and so, so cold. from this he does understand that idea, of chasing a ghost; of wanting to be happy, of pushing himself to keep smiling and act as if things were normal, for someone else's sake, for noctis' sake, despite the fact that inside--if he really stopped to consider--he was hurting and so, so lonely.]
[clinging to a memory...]
[rufus returns with the ball, koromaru close in tow, catching on to the game of fetch. he throws it again, and both dogs run.]
He wouldn't want you to bottle things up just so you can continue trying to be happy. I know people say 'fake it until you make it,' but when there's... sadness inside, it's hard to do that.
[he turns to her slightly]
You don't need to come up with answers for those questions now.
Some days, I want to work myself to the bone so I forget he's gone. Other days, I want to stay in bed and shut out everything...not do anything. [She breathes out a sigh.] Those days scare me the most, because it's so unlike me. Overworking myself isn't good either, but...that's how I've done things my whole life anyways, so it feels normal.
[prompto gets it. the wanting to stay in bed and shut everything out. he's been there; it's not healthy, it feels worse, it feels stagnating, and it makes everything that much more miserable. but that's somehow a necessary part of healing.]
...silence can be cathartic. You may work yourself to the bone and still feel like the pain just intensifies. You gotta give yourself time. There's no manual to this sort of thing, but... Being sad is okay, too.
[her free hand, prompto takes in his and gives it a light squeeze.]
Yeah.
[he replies quietly, turning his attention back to koromaru who returned with the ball this time. he throws it again, and the dogs run. he turns back to look at minako, keeping an eye on her.]
[things will be okay, is what he thinks. it just takes time.]
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where do you want to meet?
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[he showered! but he considered sunday to be a day he would sit and chill at home, thus he's wearing his usual sleep wear. rufus is already going about his business, sniffing down the path and taking the leash along with him to mark his territory on a nearby tree.]
[prompto's fished out his phone, waiting for any sign of minako. he already has a feeling what this is about; he did offer, after all.]
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I wouldn't have even realized these were your pajamas if you hadn't said anything.
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[he grins, allowing rufus more leash freedom while he goes over to greet koromaru. there's a fenced in dog park area where they can run like crazy, so prompto walks a bit closer to minako, before leading the way towards it.]
How's it going?
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Better than before. [She's not bawling her eyes out every half hour.] I just...woke up from my nap thinking I missed his laugh...thought that I shouldn't be alone, after that. And so I turn to you.
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Y'know you can always turn to me when you need someone.
[...?? he's not good at this. he's never been in the position of the person who consoles friends over their losses, because friends is a relatively new concept, at least at this close a relationship]
[they reached the fenced area, and prompto opens up the waist-high gate, waiting for koromaru and minako to get in too, before closing it behind him.]
--you wanna talk about it?
[about ryoji, he means.]
[he unleashes rufus, takes a tennis ball from the pocket in his pants, and tosses it over beyond.]
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Lately I've found myself thinking "Ryoji would want me to do this" and "Ryoji would think that". He'd want me to be happy, so I'm smiling as much as I can. He'd want me to be happy, so I'm trying to move on. But...how much of it is me actually trying for myself, and how much is it me clinging to his memory? I'm worried that I might be chasing his ghost at this rate.
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[the closest he's come to that feeling is when noctis was in a coma for months and months, when prompto first found him that winter night, on the floor and so, so cold. from this he does understand that idea, of chasing a ghost; of wanting to be happy, of pushing himself to keep smiling and act as if things were normal, for someone else's sake, for noctis' sake, despite the fact that inside--if he really stopped to consider--he was hurting and so, so lonely.]
[clinging to a memory...]
[rufus returns with the ball, koromaru close in tow, catching on to the game of fetch. he throws it again, and both dogs run.]
He wouldn't want you to bottle things up just so you can continue trying to be happy. I know people say 'fake it until you make it,' but when there's... sadness inside, it's hard to do that.
[he turns to her slightly]
You don't need to come up with answers for those questions now.
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I don't know what I should do in the meantime, though. Not...that I expect you to have an answer for that, but. It's the truth.
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Then don't do anything. You don't owe it to anyone. You owe yourself in taking things at whatever pace you feel most comfortable.
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...silence can be cathartic. You may work yourself to the bone and still feel like the pain just intensifies. You gotta give yourself time. There's no manual to this sort of thing, but... Being sad is okay, too.
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Then...can we just stand here for a little while? Without talking.
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Yeah.
[he replies quietly, turning his attention back to koromaru who returned with the ball this time. he throws it again, and the dogs run. he turns back to look at minako, keeping an eye on her.]
[things will be okay, is what he thinks. it just takes time.]